Therapists, We Need to Do Better at Responding to Clients
As a therapist, I know firsthand how hard it can be for someone to take that first
step and reach out for help. It’s vulnerable. It takes courage. And when that effort
is met with silence? It’s disheartening.
I also know that therapists are busy. We are probably busier now than we’ve ever
been. Our plates are full, our caseloads are stretched, and many of us are
navigating our own personal and professional responsibilities. We are human.
But here’s the thing: returning a call or email from someone seeking help should
be a priority.
My Personal Experience Trying to Find a Therapist
I’m not just speaking as a clinician—I’m speaking as someone who is currently
trying to find a therapist for myself. And the experience has been beyond
frustrating.
I have sustained three long term therapeutic relationships, all of which terminated
successfully. My last was no different but our ending was spurred by my change
of insurance. Fortunately, despite the chaos ensuing in my life, I felt ready to
terminate and move forward. In the last year or so it felt time to give myself the
space to do some much needed self-reflection. I reached out to multiple
therapists, not one response. I gave up and put it on the back burner. This year I
decided to try again. I reached out to multiple therapists. Only one responded.
That was on January 31st. I’m still waiting to hear about an appointment.
As a therapist, I do understand the struggles of juggling so much all too well:
- I have insurance challenges.
-I’m a working, independent co-parent
-I’m managing a business/seeing clients
- I’m busy—just like all of you.
But despite all of this, I make it a priority to return calls and emails from potential
clients. Even when I’m not taking new clients, I respond. I acknowledge their
effort. I offer referrals. Because I know how hard it is to take that step.
We Can and Must Do Better
I don’t expect perfection—we all miss things sometimes. But as a field, we have
to do better. A simple acknowledgment can make a world of difference to
someone who is struggling. I will never forget when I opened my practice in
2017. As I waited for my daughter’s orthodontist appointment, I received an email
alert- it was a google review.
A woman had written a scathing review about how I never got back to her and
had a few choice things to say about my character and how I conducted
business. I was devastated because up until that point, I really thought I had
been so on top of responding. I searched my emails and call log and never found
a record of that women, but regardless, it was a reminder of how important it is to
people to respond.
If you’re a therapist, consider these small but impactful actions:
Set up an email for inquiries. Many of us struggle to return calls during the
day, but responding to an email at night or between sessions can be much
easier.
Update your voicemail. Let people know if you’re full, how long it typically takes
you to respond, and whether email is a better way to reach you. I specifically say
in my voicemail for all new inquiries to email me.
Offer referrals. Even if you can’t take someone, point them in the direction of
other resources.
Acknowledge their effort. Even if all you can say is, “I don’t have openings, but
I wish you the best in finding the right support,” that’s better than silence.
Silence Sends a Message
When we don’t respond to inquiries, we send an unintended but powerful
message: Your struggles don’t matter enough for a reply.
Of course, that’s not what we mean—but that’s how it feels to the person waiting
for an answer. And for someone already feeling hopeless, discouraged, or
overwhelmed, that silence can reinforce the very beliefs they’re trying to work
through. Making therapy a priority and taking that step and the time to do so is
hard enough. Silence has discouraged me and made me deprioritize myself
multiple times in this process.
Therapists, we must do better. I know we are human, and we are going to miss
things, but our responsiveness matters. A simple email, a quick voicemail
update, or a referral list can go a long way.
Let’s not be the reason someone gives up on getting help.
Have you struggled to find a therapist who responds? If you’re a clinician,
what do you do to improve your responsiveness? Let’s start a
conversation.
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